Day 23 – A letter to someone, anyone. Okay, but I won’t tell who 😉 I don’t expect the person would read this letter, but it’s good to write and express things out. Here we go :
This is me, growing old and already an adult. I should be for several years before. But you always guard me in your shell, and you guard hard. But the thing is, you are caught with your fears and responsibility, also the image that you want for people to see. Also, you guard with all the things you think is good. But, you fail to see me as I am.
Maybe it’s not your fault. I go along with your expectation, I act like the girl you want me to be. But half of it was me. I think all of us end up being what you want to be, because you have the control. But the thing is, there are greater power than you. And sometimes no matter how hard we want things to be, we can’t beat the universe’s plan. And you always set me to be what you want. But that is your role, in my life and our life.
This day I just realized that maybe I can be the woman I want today, if I started early. If I listen to you less and more to myself. But I don’t write this to blame you. I know that everything is set like today because it was meant to. I also know, that I was too comfortable being on your shell that I forgot that one day I won’t fit in there anymore. That one day I’ll have my own and I will set everything the way I want it to be.
I’ve seen you less after I have my own life. I always see you as a tough soul. But today, I see you and I feel you have a rotten pain inside that you cover with your tough exterior. I know that you miss feeling warm, being loved and having simple joys. I know that when you are on my age, you probably have the same choices as mine. But you refuse to change, because you want things to be on your way. You always have and maybe now you live by your choices.
I just want to say to you, that you shouldn’t be that hard. You don’t need to. You shouldn’t force things, and just let go. You shouldn’t see things that end up wrong, and see the bright side. You are allowed to be fragile and let people see that side of you, because I know it must be killing you to look so tough all the time. And you forget, that I am here for you.
And any day now, you should see me as I am. And I should let you see who I am. And one day, we’ll talk like adults. And I can say what you did wrong, and you won’t be mad because I make you mad. I sincerely hope that in that day, you’ll thank me for telling you the truth.
Image from Pinterest (Sarah Rohrschneider)