First of all, Happy Ied Mubarak for you who celebrated it. Hopefully, all of our prayers and worships can be accepted.
This Ramadhan has been very meaningful to me. Very different than before. Very much given me a lesson. Gain and loss I have never experienced before.
- You don’t have to eat or cook excessively. Fasting for almost 13 hours a day (here in Indonesia at least), we can’t get away from feeling hungry and thirsty. I used to think I should eat a lot at sahur, or eat for ‘revenge’ whenever it’s time to break the fasting. But since I cook for myself and husband, given all the time it took and lack of rest, I only cook rice, main dish and vegetables. I don’t know why, I don’t have the urge to eat lots like I used to. I only eat rice less than I used to. But my tummy feels better because it still have space. But I still can’t get away from preparing a little more food on breakfasting than my tummy can eat. It usually already felt full when in front of you there’s still lots of food.
- Cooking or preparing food for your family is joyful. I know, it’s just me and hubby. But preparing food than are good for them (wife holds key to get proper and healthy food) is actually a joy.
- It’s no good to eat or drink icy or cold drinks when you just breakfasting. People who have strong stomach maybe bear it, but not me. Tummy felt weird after I drank cold fruit juice (sop buah) as my first dish to eat in breakfasting
- Also not good to eat fried snacks (gorengan) as your first food in breakfasting. So I ate cold dish and fried snacks at the same breakfasting. Sorry, tummy.
- I learned to make my first oreo cheesecake. It doesn’t need an oven. But I should whisk the batter a bit longer, so the batter was a bit too slushy. Here’s the look of the cake.
- Also learned to make an oreo pudding. Everything contains oreo because it’s so damn easy.
- A perfect moment to date. Since many of us looking forward to go home at 5 pm to breakfast at home/someplace else, all the traffic jam was moved to 4-6 pm. And past 6 pm the streets are free from traffic jam (most of the time). We Jakarta people tend to avoid traffic jam (because time is valuable). Me and hubby really took the chance to go out and eat outside. It was a great use of traffic jam-free streets.
8. Always took time to see your parents. My father passed away just a week away from Ied Mubarak. My biggest regret was not having more time with him. I did see him before the day he died, he was looking fresh (after several months being sick, it was unusual). I realized nothing I can do to make him live longer, my father was a great man and he died in a good month.
9. Death and life after death. Every people and their beliefs are different. I’d like to believe that my father has been cleared from his sins because he was sick for several months before his death. Therefore, he is now in much better place and of course free from his physical pains. I learned cultural methods aren’t necessarily the real spiritual methods. I learned that crying for his leaving could only make him uneasy.
10. While you can’t do anything for your parent who already died, except to pray and be the person he wants us to be, what you can do is have better relationship with the one who still alive. Families, siblings, uncles, aunties, my mother, husband. I learned that gathering with my dad’s relatives and friends is one way to make him in a calmer state.
My dad always has been the earliest spiritual guide in the house, before school and life experience. Now with his death, I can’t ever say no to all the religion matter he has pointed out. I can only be grateful, for all his values (and prayers) has made me a better person.